Don’t try this at home, boys and girls! A popcorn confetti stunt will leave kernels hidden in your couch indefinitely!
Also, don't try this anywhere else but at home. That is, don't try this at all, boys and girls.
(Even if this wouldn't cause all kinds of unwelcome followups, it would be extremely unlikely to work, and be extremely likely to backfire - once in a while I must be the voice of reason.)